Growing Fruit: SELF CONTROL

Growing Fruit: Self-Control
Well, we've made it to the final fruit.
And I have to admit, when I first started this series, I thought I knew which fruit would be the hardest for me.
Then God started taking me through each one.
And now, as I sit here thinking about self-control, I realize something:
This might actually be the hardest one of all.
Because self-control requires me to admit that sometimes the biggest thing standing in my way...
is me.
Ouch.
Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. And I think it's easy to hear that word and immediately think about the obvious things: controlling our temper, controlling our words, controlling our spending, controlling what we eat, controlling our habits.
But the more I think about it, the more I realize self-control reaches into almost every part of my life.
It's controlling my reaction when someone frustrates me.
It's controlling my tongue when I have something I really want to say.
It's controlling the urge to defend myself when I feel misunderstood.
It's controlling my emotions when everything feels overwhelming.
It's choosing to stop scrolling.
It's choosing not to send the text.
It's choosing not to make the sarcastic comment.
It's choosing not to eat the entire bag of something simply because it's sitting in front of me.
It's choosing obedience when nobody would know if I didn't.
And honestly?
I don't always choose well.
There are times when I know exactly what I should do and still don't do it.
Paul understood this struggle. In Romans 7, he basically says, I don't understand myself. I do the things I don't want to do, and I don't do the things I know I should.
If you've ever had a moment where you thought, Why did I just do that? I knew better, congratulations.
You're human.
And so am I.
I think that's why self-control can feel so defeating. We can start believing that if we were just more disciplined, more mature, more organized, more spiritual, we would finally get it right.
But here's the truth I've been learning throughout this entire series:
The fruit of the Spirit isn't the result of trying harder to be a better person.
It's the result of staying connected to Jesus.
Jesus doesn't simply tell me, "Get yourself under control."
He invites me to surrender control to Him.
And those are two very different things.
Because sometimes what I call self-control is really just me trying harder to control everything around me.
I want to control my circumstances.
I want to control how people respond to me.
I want to control my schedule.
I want to control my children's behavior.
I want to control the outcome.
I want to control how things make me feel.
And eventually, I have to admit that I was never actually in control in the first place.
Maybe real self-control begins with giving up the illusion that I am.
Proverbs 25:28 says, "Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control."
That's a pretty strong picture.
A city without walls is vulnerable. Anything can get in.
And I think the same can be true of our hearts.
When I don't practice self-control, every emotion gets a microphone. Every frustration gets a response. Every temptation gets an invitation.
But the Holy Spirit gives us something different.
He gives us the ability to pause.
To breathe.
To pray.
To choose.
Not because we suddenly become incredibly strong, but because He is strengthening us.
And maybe that's why I don't want to finish this series by pretending I've mastered any of these fruits.
I haven't.
I've lost my patience.
I've responded too quickly.
I've been unkind.
I've struggled to be gentle.
I've wanted my own way.
And I've lacked self-control more times than I'd like to admit.
But that's the point.
We're not called to grow fruit because we've already arrived.
We're growing because we're still becoming.
Galatians doesn't say, "The fruit of the Spirit is something you should be able to produce on your own."
It says the fruit comes from the Spirit.
The Gardener is doing the growing.
Our job is to stay connected to Him.
So as we wrap up this series, maybe that's the biggest thing I want to remember.
I don't need to become a perfect Christian who never loses her temper, never says the wrong thing, never gets distracted, never gives in to temptation, and always responds exactly the way Jesus would.
I need Jesus.
Every single day.
I need Him when I'm frustrated.
I need Him when I'm tempted.
I need Him when I'm overwhelmed.
I need Him when I fail.
And I need Him when I think I'm doing pretty well and start believing I don't need Him quite as much.
The beautiful thing about fruit is that you don't have to stand outside a tree yelling, "GROW FASTER!"
You water it.
You tend it.
You give it sunlight.
And you wait.
That's what I want to do.
Stay close to Jesus.
Let Him prune what needs to be pruned.
Let Him grow what needs to grow.
And trust that, over time, people will begin to see a little more of Him in me.
Maybe that's what this whole series has really been about.
Not becoming better versions of ourselves.
Becoming more like Jesus.
And if, at the end of it all, I love a little deeper, have a little more joy, walk in a little more peace, practice a little more patience, show a little more kindness, live with a little more goodness, remain faithful, speak with gentleness, and exercise a little more self-control...
then maybe the fruit is growing after all.
Even if I'm still losing shoes.
Even if I still get frustrated.
Even if I still mess up.
Even if I still have a lot of growing to do.
Because I do.
And so do you.
And thankfully, we have a very patient Gardener.
"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." — Philippians 1:6
And that feels like the perfect place to end.
Not with look how much I've grown.
But with:
Look how faithful He has been to keep growing me.